I’m thinking
Should I close this place down?
I’m posting a lot on Tumblr recently and I keep a private (hand-written) diary for myself. I’m finding less and less time to write on here…
It seems most times I do post, I’m stating facts and about events that have occurred rather than what’s actually on my mind.
I’d like to be open & honest with this blog, but I fear people’s… response? (for lack of a better word). I don’t want everyone to know what’s on my mind, yet it seems pointless blogging/writing about anything else.
Things to keep you up to date;
I’m truly loving my job. I know for fact that God has put me there for a reason. I’d love to know what that reason is, but I don’t so therefore I’m enjoying my time there. It’s a job that keeps you on your toes, is different every day & simply love it. I got an award last week for good work, the first one out of the 8 people I started with. I’m super happy there.
I’ve made some good great friends since I’ve moved back & kept in touch with some dear friends from Portsmouth. Both of which hold a huge place in my heart. I wish I had more time during the month to visit them all & spend quality time with them. I’m thankful for technologies that allow me to stay in touch and still be a part of their lives even when apart from each other.
I’m currently in Belfast (flying home tomorrow) for Rachael & Phil’s wedding for which I was a bridesmaid. It was a lovely day. The wedding itself was the first time I’d been in a church for about 3-4 months. I’m struggling with the church’s back home (Oxford) and really missing my ‘family’ in Kings Church, Portsmouth. I’d really appreciate prayer in all of that and without trying to write a list of things I’d like prayer for, please can you pray for home life, and I’m going to be blunt & up-front, but for Dan to come back to God.
I’ve no idea who reads this still, but thank you for all who do.
After writing this… I’m thinking maybe I’ll keep this blog open for a little while longer 
3 comments June 13th, 2011 at 01:20am by Nikita
No idea for title…
So I haven’t posted in a long time. I don’t even know whether I put on here that I did get the job for the police which is awesome
I’ve been going through a kind of tough time at the moment and a lot of it I can’t share over the internet. Most of the stuff isn’t mine to share but people are leaning on me to help them get through their struggles & everything seems to be happening at once.
I wish I could just blurt everything out on here but the consequences wouldn’t be worth it.
Work’s going well. As of tomorrow I’ve got 2 weeks of crime recording training (how to record a crime to government standards so they can monitor how much crime in certain areas/fields etc). I’m kind of looking forward to it as it’s going to be Monday to Friday 9am – 5pm. The last time I worked those shifts was back in August so it’ll be nice to have some normal shifts for once.
God’s been good, I’m the one that’s been lame. I was stressing over everything that’s happened recently and really not looking forward to Christmas (which is very unlike me) as I was having to work Christmas Eve, Christmas Day & New Years Eve but work somehow overstaffed & they’ve given me Christmas Day off which is cool. But it does mean me & Dan have to figure out how to see 3 families in one day (my parents are divorced). I think I’m seeing Dad on a different day so it shouldn’t be too bad.
Since doing the job I’m doing, I’ve realised how much I don’t want to self-harm & think about suicide. I know that sounds weird and doing the job with all of the serious & hard things I deal with at work, it’s made me focus more on making myself happy & not all the thinks wrong in my life. I fell a lot more positive & can’t believe it took this job to slap me round my face and say “Nikita, you have no reason to want to harm yourself, snap out of it, you’ve got LOT of good things in your life, focus on those, focus on helping others”. But I feel so much better. Yes, I still have ups and downs but not like before. I can say with confidence that I USED to self harm & not any more. First time I can say that
I miss Portsmouth a lot but know God has given me this amazing job and I don’t want to change that. But oh my gosh, tiny Oxfordshire villages are so dull! Pompey was great, we had the beach 2 minutes away, arcade games, takeaways, pubs, church & awesome shops all maximum of 30 minutes walk away. I tried on Thursday to walk into Oxford from my work, after 1 hour 10 minutes of walking in the freezing cold along a canal I got to Yarnton (home village) which isn’t even half way to Oxford & I gave up! ha! I have to get a bus everywhere which doesn’t even run late on Sunday which means I can’t get back from Church, I love my hubby for picking me up
I miss the social life, the hustle & bustle of the city. Oxfordshire villages don’t have any life & the only thing the villagers talk about is the scandal between Mrs So-And-So & Mr Whats-His-Face. Ugh. I hate villages. Even towns now bore me. I’m a city girl. Honestly, the most interesting thing that happened in Yarnton was a lady called the police to say she thought a man in a white van was stealing something from a building site near a school. Turns out it was the milkman delivering the milk. Honestly.
Well done if you managed to read all of this! I think I’m going to go out today & either have a photo day or buy a new Macbook (my laptop is dying).
See ya’!
1 comment December 5th, 2010 at 01:10pm by Nikita
SORRY!
I haven’t posted here in ages! oops! I will update this with all the new house/new job/new county info etc.
In the mean time I’ve uploaded a few new photos onto Flickr today – http://tinyurl.com/smi1e – check them out if you get chance.
Hope everyone is OK
1 comment November 4th, 2010 at 12:35am by Nikita
Thoughts
I friend has made a very valid point that I would like to share; visit her blog= missgoves.blogspot.com
Add comment April 30th, 2010 at 09:05pm by Nikita
Easter Sunday
Well I really thought that my Easter Sunday was going to be pants. No family around, nothing planned, Dan back in Oxford, hadn’t got an Easter egg etc. I HAD A LOVELY DAY! 
Went to Church (I even got up and went to Church in the morning!) met up with some friends, went for a picnic and a Easter Egg hunt, took some photos, chatted with some really lovely people, laughed with good friends until my belly hurt went to Drift Bar to see someone I know play in a Jazz band, danced and had an awesome day! I’m still smiling.
I never thought my day would turn out as good as it has today
Thank you God
New photos= http://www.flickr.com/photos/nikitajade/
1 comment April 5th, 2010 at 12:38am by Nikita
Sorry for the lack of posts
I’m keeping a diary where I can be more open because noone reads it. Sorry.
I do share every now and again on Tumblr.
I applied for a job in Thames Valley Police and went to the interview on Monday. The job sounds awesome and I really want it but I think that I mucked up in the interview. I’ll find out next week and will update then.
I don’t even know who reads this blog anymore. Meh.
3 comments April 3rd, 2010 at 12:51am by Nikita
Ask me anything…
http://formspring.me/nikitajade
Add comment February 8th, 2010 at 06:39pm by Nikita
Busy busy
Sorry I’ve been useless at updating.
There’s some new photos on Flickr from the honeymoon and my alphabet project.
And I’m using Twitter loads because I’m hardly ever by my laptop.
I’m mainly just having fun with a load of friends from Kings Church and Dan’s uni. I kinda don’t what to leave this place in June. I know it’s a long way off but I know it’s coming. So at the moment I’m enjoying the time I have while I’m down here.
3 comments December 12th, 2009 at 05:57pm by Nikita
GivesMeHope
I’ve been neglecting this blog so much but I don’t really have time for a full update today. I just needed to share this with you guys:
“A long time ago, I was on the verge of committing suicide when a guy came to the roof to have lunch. He saw me climbing over the railing and asked me to share his lunch with him. After receiving my puzzled look, he explained, “everyone should die happy. or at least with a full stomach.” We celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary last month. GMH.”
“Today my flight was 100% full. As we left, clapping started in the rear of the plane and the stewardess escorted a returning soldier up to first class. A business man had seen him and requested to switch. He traded his 1st class seat for a middle seat in a last row. His generosity GHM.”
“I work at a hair salon, and every Saturday this man brings his wife in to get her hair washed and blow dried. She had a stroke and cannot walk or talk, he also puts her lipstick and blush on for her every morning, they have been together for over 50 years. Their love GMH.”
I cried when I read some of the posts on the site.
www.givesmehope.com
4 comments October 27th, 2009 at 12:15am by Nikita
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